


Kiss Me On the Bus

by TeaRoses



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-24
Updated: 2010-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-07 12:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRoses/pseuds/TeaRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Ron visit Los Angeles and experiment with Muggle transportation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me On the Bus

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in 2004 on LiveJournal. I did one minor edit just now (to reflect on Dumbledore) but it still doesn't conform to later canon, sorry.

Ron was still staring at the piece of paper in his hand. "The City of Angels School of Anything Goes Magic?"

"And Juice Bar," finished Harry.

"The Headmaster's having us on this time."

"Probably, Ron, but would you care to fly home and accuse him of that?"

"The broom won't make it, and I'm not getting back on that... thing..."

"It's an airplane."

"I know. Until I have to."

"You never did tell me how you lost your apparating license, Ron. Just something about the twins and a dare."

"It involved a house-elf and a squib's underwear drawer, and a man wouldn't even tell his best friend the rest."

"I am your best friend, Ron."

"A man wouldn't even tell his... All right, you're that too, but never mind, Harry. You don't want to hear about it. Especially the applesauce."

Harry nodded. "All right, we just go to the main street and take the blue bus marked "Santa Monica" going west and then we should see the sign."

"What about the concealing spell? What about the..."

"This is California, Ron."

"Huh?"

"Trust me, you can't move without tripping over mystical secret schools here. Their biggest problem is keeping the celebrities out."

"Can't we just floo there and deliver this stuff?" Ron gestured to the small suitcase full of "important spells" that Albus Dumbledore had sent with them.

"How many fireplaces have you seen around here?"

Ron shrugged. "Good point. Anyway, I'll be fine, Dad's been taking me on buses since I was a baby."

"Not in Los Angeles, he hasn't."

They walked out to the sidewalk then and stood by the small triangular sign, counting out the unfamiliar money which was not only muggle but American and waiting for the bus to arrive.

When it finally halted by the stop they tripped up the steps and deposited the money in the square receptacle. The driver didn't seem to notice whether they had paid or not. He was too busy fiddling with the buttons of an extremely large radio by his seat which was blaring loud music.

There was one seat left, directly in the back, and they squeezed into it together.

The bus began bouncing down the street. Ron put a hand over his stomach and even Harry who had braved the Knight Bus was looking a bit pale.

That was when the extremely odd man walked on to the bus. He was wearing a sleeveless mesh T-shirt and cut off shorts and looked extremely unkempt. He didn't seem to have paid, either, but the driver was raising the volume and didn't notice.

As he passed the other seats Harry and Ron heard many muttered exclamations of "What?" and "Excuse me?"

 

Finally he reached the back and stared at Ron and Harry. Looking away carefully, as if he were pretending not to, he ran his hand down Ron's arm from shoulder to elbow, then lumbered back up to the front.

 

"Harry, that man just touched me!"

"You like it when men touch you, Ron."

 

"Not smelly strangers with massive armpit hair, Harry!" Ron was raising his voice.

Harry discreetly squeezed Ron's knee. "Calm down, Ron, no one else cares."

 

No one else did seem to care, and the man lumbered off the vehicle at the next scheduled stop.

Right at that moment, the music suddenly went silent. The driver said a nasty muggle word and Harry and Ron looked at each other breathing a sigh of relief.

Then the bus suddenly stopped again and the driver opened the door and ran out, yelling, "I have to buy some batteries, I'll be right back."

Harry turned to Ron and said, "Batteries are..."

Ron shook his head. "Don't bother explaining. My dad has a collection of every shape and size."

Harry nodded.

 

The driver ran back on the bus carrying a bag and soon the music was blaring again.

Meanwhile a strange-looking old woman had entered the bus. She grinned at everyone, murmuring, "Aren't you two a cute couple!"

The various bus inhabitants either laughed or looked confused.

 

When she reached Ron and Harry she repeated it.

Ron opened his mouth to say "Uh..." but meanwhile Harry had thrown an arm around him. "Indeed we are!"

 

The woman laughed wildly and grabbed a pole to stand by.

Ron turned around. "Harry... not even in California. He warned us..."

 

Harry laughed and removed his arm. "Fair enough. It is different here though."

He pointed out the nearest window. A giant billboard showed two attractive young men gazing at each other on a sandy beach with the logo "Gay Men's Travel Service."

Ron nodded. "Yeah, you don't see that much in Hogsmeade."

 

Harry pointed again. "Or that."

A huge banner showed two shirtless men embracing, looking defiantly out at the observer.

One wore low slung pants, the other mostly leather.

 

"Muggle advertising campaign," said Harry.

"Right..." muttered Ron. "But even I don't know want to know for what, I think. But which one of them do you reckon... tends to be on the bottom, you know?"

 

Harry turned his head to the side and thought. "The one with all the spikes. But only because he says so, you know?"

Ron nodded. Then he pointed to the suitcase.

"Harry, you think the headmaster is really sending vital parchment to a place like this?"

Harry shook his head. "Not a chance. I'm sure he thought we needed a vacation... And now you've got me curious."

He lifted the suitcase onto his lap and opened it. "Not even a locking spell."

He began rifling through the contents. "Chocolate frog cards... a few ordinary books... and this looks like a letter."

Harry held the envelope up to the light of the bus window.

Ron poked him in the side. "Don't do that! That's wrong, that is!"

Harry blushed and put it down. "I think Dumbledore's got an old boyfriend teaching at City of... whatsit."

Ron laughed. "What do you think they'll think of us two here then?"

"I think we're about to learn some new spells."

Suddenly Harry pulled Ron down by the sleeve of his shirt. Their faces now hidden behind the open suitcase, he kissed Ron full on the lips.

"You can't do that on a bus."

"Shut up or I'll do something worse, Ron."

Ron laughed again. "Save it for the Juice Bar."

 

He ruffled Ron's hair and shut the suitcase.

"Will do then, we're almost there."

They smiled at each other as the bus rolled on, not caring who was watching.


End file.
